In The Land of The Small, Medium, and Large
by Claire Wei

 January 3, 2009. I’m on BART en route to San Francisco, and in comes a pair of girls. Ten minutes later, they are causing a riotous conversation. And that’s when I heard it.

      “I would NEVER be a size 13 because then it means I’m fat. So I squeeze into a 9 instead.”

      Not only did she just admit that she’s fat, but bonus! She also said the big no-no: squeeze. Clothing sizes do matter, but not when muffins are toppling over the top of your pants. It is natural for the questioner to react positively to a “size zero” answer, and it is because of this positive reaction that every girl (not kidding) devotes a fraction of her life to achieving the invisible stamp of approval.

      Ladies, I understand the need to dress like the starving celebrities, but squeezing into a dress two sizes too small only begs to be ripped apart at the seams. Scream and complain all you want that celebrities look thin; you will get nowhere. Hello! Keyword- look. Of course they’re really not a two. The only reason they appear a two is because they wear clothes that fit their bodies. Take Queen Latifah; her ability to dress well is remarkable. She may be a size 13, but as long as she wears her true size, she looks like a size 9. Not to mention, she wears clothes that make her appear slimming. Darts, cinched waists, and monochromatic colors are few friends you want to make if you want the skinny.

      To avoid “looking fat”, there is only one solution: lose weight. If you think you can buy too-tight jeans and still look fabulous, here’s a reality check that’s not so fabulous: You look fatter since the fat’s spilling out. So save yourself the illusion of looking like Kate Moss.

      The same goes for people who wear bigger sizes. Think Mary-Kate Olsen. If she wore her triple-zero size, she wouldn’t look like Casper the Hobo Ghost. The flowy-hippie-meets-baggy-jersey-clothing trend simply does injustice to your curves, even if you claim to have none. If you wanted to follow in the footsteps of Kate Hudson, you’re obviously doing something wrong. Kate Hudson successfully achieves this flowy hippie look because she defines other parts of the body. A flowing bottom requires its upper counterpart to be fitted. This way, you don’t look like you’re wearing a monk’s uniform. (There’s nothing wrong with that if you cinch it with a belt and hike up the hem.)

      Guys, don’t think that just because ladies are either spilling out from the seams or being swallowed by seas of fabric that you’re not a part of this ghastly getup. The majority of you wear clothes that are simply too baggy to walk properly in. We’ve seen it all, from the showing-your-undies-jeans to the sweaters that go past your knees. You are either hiding the extra pounds or your anorexically skeletal body, but there are simple solutions to both of them. Lose weight or gain some muscle. Don’t say it’s impossible; I work in the fashion industry and I’ve accomplished all the impossibles. It was pitiful when the younger crowd wore the “trend” but continuing it ten years later only makes you look like you keep wearing your older brother’s clothes because you’re too poor to get your own rags. Result? You look sloppy. And your future career will not respond so joyfully to your XXL tall tees.

Clothing should be a representation of your body. If you are not a medium, don’t shove/tent/slide into a medium. It’s that simple. Own up to the size you really are and you will be surprised at how flattering and slimming you look without all the cottage cheese oozing out of your container. Because nobody likes leftovers.