What Your Shoes Say About You: Midterm Advice Edition

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Illustration by Alyssa Long

Linda Chong
Copy Editor

As midterms approach, the days have a somewhat heavier atmosphere. Students are huddled in coffee shops and praying for deadline extensions. Professors who used to end class 15 minutes early are now cramming information into every second of the lecture. 

We all have our ways of dealing with stress from our upcoming exams. Here’s some advice on how YOU should deal with midterms, based on what shoes you wear.

Vans 

You’re probably a nice college student who just wants to get to class and power through it. Either you skateboard and you’re actually on top of attendance, or you’re just a regular-shmegular broke college student.

How to deal with midterms? 

Do not lose steam or give up going to your classes! You don’t need to fit in or relate in any way to the people around you that laugh at the idea of attending lectures. Be unique — unlike your Vans — and thrive!    

 

Slides

If you’re wearing slides, you’re one of many things. You might be an athlete or someone who rollerblades through campus. You might be a temporary hermit who’s determined to relearn the first five weeks of material in all your classes. Whatever you might be, you’re probably the most dead inside, and it shows. 

How to deal with midterms? 

Wash your face, put on some fresh clothes, and set yourself up for success. Don’t stay too comfortable, despite cold weather and the refuge of your sweatpants. Make sure you get six hours of sleep because you folks are by far the most tired people in all of Isla Vista. Put on a new attitude and remotivate yourself.

 

Air Force 1’s

We’ve all seen it; a group of Beta-Kappa-Gamma girls wearing lulus and quarter-zips, and what do you know: Air Force 1’s. Maybe you noticed two small Asian baby girls (ABGs) in the hiding, covering their face because it’s 9 a.m. (too early for lashes) wearing a slightly worn-out pair of Air Force 1’s. Here’s to every sorority girl and ABG who “just likes to be comfortable.”

How to deal with midterms? 

Stop taking boba breaks and don’t study with your friends. We all lie to ourselves that we can study in groups, and we all suffer on the day before our final when we realize it’s too late. Study by yourself, and don’t think about the FOMO, because honey, your grades need you. 

 

Doc Martens

The shoes that make it seem like you have your life together. These icons stand for style, diligence, and persistence (we all know how painful it is to break in a new pair of Docs). These shoes are a magical statement that not only convinces the public that you’re put together, but also yourself. They can mask minimal effort, and I’m not just talking about the outfit. 

How to deal with midterms? 

Stop procrastinating and start working. Start that essay that’s due tomorrow. Make a study schedule that keeps track of your daily responsibilities, because we all know how busy you are meeting everyone in town. It’s only a matter of time before you’re sitting at the library an hour before your midterm, overwhelmed by last week’s material you still haven’t covered. Your shoes can’t save you then. 

 

Flip-Flops

First of all, it is 50 degrees, you’re wearing thick Patagonia gear — and y’all are wearing flip-flops?! You know who you are, skateboarding on those brown sandals that are brown not because you bought them that color. You know who you are, getting Yerbas and coffee at the same time, because you pulled an all-nighter with your friends “studying.” 

How to deal with midterms? 

Stop studying with friends. You four know working in 30-minute intervals with hour-long talk sessions is not being productive. Get some sleep, real sleep. Stop relying on caffeine, because at this point it’s an excuse to take a break from sitting too long without studying. Hang out with friends AFTER you finish your exams. It’ll feel much more rewarding then. 

 

Crocs

Let me just say, people who wear crocs are functional and bold. They don’t care what you think, and for a good reason. They have their own agenda, they know what they’re doing, and more importantly, they know what they’re wearing. 

How to deal with midterms? 

Start early and make sure you give yourself enough time to cover all the material. No matter how good of a student you are, it is absolute suicide if you start three days before your final, convinced that you can handle it. Get real! Wear your crocs and go to the library to start studying. It’s better to finish early then to panic because you ran out of time. 

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Linda Chong is a second-year Communication major that wants to pursue a career in reviewing food. She loves food. She is an advocate for oat milk and spends most of her time writing, meeting people, and listening to EDM.

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