Relationship Expert Reid Milhalko Will Discuss Sex and Relationships


Allyson Werner
Staff Writer

With the sudden arrival of Facebook pages like UCSB Hook-Ups and UCSB Confessions, Isla Vista’s hook-up culture has been placed in the spotlight. For this reason, campus organizations such as the Women, Gender, and Sexual Equity Department (WGSE) have hosted a variety of events on sexual harassment in IV. In fact, WGSE will be hosting sex and relationship expert Reid Mihalko on Wednesday, May 22  at 7 p.m. in the Loma Pelona Center (LPC).

WGSE includes Women’s Center Programs; Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender (LGBT) Resources; Rape Prevention Education Programs; and a Non-Traditional Student Resource Center, all of which host programs to inform UCSB students of problems facing UCSB’s campus.

Mihalko, who has spoken about sex on NPR, CBS, Fox News, Oprah’s “Our America,” and more, will give a presentation called “How To Be a Gentleman AND Get Laid: Navigating consent, sexual freedom, partying, dating, relationships, and what it means to be a man on campus,” which has received significant recognition for combining science, pragmatism, and humor.

“The primary message I want to convey in ‘Be A Gentleman AND Get Laid’ is that men (and women) can have more and better sex, achieve deeper intimacy, and create a reputation that’s respected by role modeling transparency, self-expression and integrity,” said Mihalko. “In short, you can make dating, mating and relating more fun, more healthy, more conscious and inspire people for it.”

Mihalko explained that the individuals have become increasingly sexually curious; however, at the same time, they lack the communication skills to appropriately express themselves.

“While the sexual revolution and the Internet has given us some permission to be more sexually free and curious, most men and women have inherited culture’s shame, mixed messages, and poor communication skills when it comes to speaking truthfully about our wants, needs, desires, and fantasies,” he said.

Milhako’s talk will target men and emphasize the act of gaining consent prior to intercourse; however, he encourages women to attend as well. “While it’s true my interactive lecture will target the men of UCSB, everyone is welcome,” he said. “All students regardless of gender, relationship status or sexual orientation will gain valuable insights on how they can make sex and love less confusing, feel safer, and way less shameful. I’m going to shorten everyone’s learning curves in regards to dating and sex so that you don’t have to make as many mistakes in life and love as everyone around you.”

Emily Crutcher of the WGSE hopes that Milhako’s lecture will attract more men to the issue of sexual harassment and IV’s unfortunate rape culture.

“This topic has been framed as a women’s issue,” she said. “I would like to change that.”

For more information, attend Milhako’s interactive lecture in the LPC on May 22.