The Signs on Election Day

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Illustration by Alyssa Long

Gabrielle Courtney

Contributing Writer

It’s election season, which means American citizens can vote for their favorite candidate! Even though our country only allows for a two-party system, the possibilities of Election Day activities are infinite. Unfortunately, election predictions are beyond astrological projections (and modern polling data apparently). However, feel free to enjoy these forecasts of what each sign will most likely be doing on Election Day. 

Curious to know what your reaction will be? Here is what each zodiac sign is doing on Election Day. 

Aries: Aries are so on top of everything on Election Day, that not only have they already voted by mail, but they also are likely to volunteer at their local polling station. While this isn’t the happiest day of their life, they are happy that anyone is voting at all. 

Taurus: Tauruses are so fed up with the election culture that they’ve considered not even voting. Because they are practical in nature, they end up voting anyways. They decide that the best way to change the system is by taking advantage of their voter power. 

Gemini: As eccentric as Geminis can be, they’re honestly only there for the performance. Geminis can’t resist the opportunity to post about voting — so others can know that they voted. You can easily spot Geminis at the polls as they most likely ask for extra stickers to put on their computer, hydro flask, or t-shirt; as if voting isn’t a norm. 

Cancer: Cancer will have been so stressed out with the outcome of the election, that Election Day is just another day without sleep. The night before they will have had at least three nightmares of possible election scenarios. In fact, if you happen to spot another tear-stained face and mask, it’s just another sleepless Cancer.

Leo: As fiery as Leos are, they’ll most likely be at the polls audibly expressing their opinions about candidates, propositions, and other electoral knowledge. They’ll be busy informing the strangers around them, as you will be busy trying to shut them out. 

Virgo: As responsible as Virgos are, they have already submitted their ballots by mail as early as they were allowed to. Double-checking that their friends have all done the same thing, Virgos have sensibly fulfilled all possible Election Day tasks. 

Libra: Libras apply the same balanced approach they typically have in their life to Election Day activities. While attending to their civic duties in line at the polls, Libras are also with their homies pre-gaming the process. Don’t worry they have their votes memorized so all they have to do is focus on having a good time. 

Scorpio: Scorpios are likely to take charge by encouraging everyone around them to vote. Their self-made reference guide to local candidates and propositions comes in handy in the conversations they engage in on Election Day. They combine assertiveness with ambition in their pursuit of a better electoral outcome. 

Sagittarius: Due to their tendency to plan ahead for the future, Sagittarius are past thinking about Election Day results. Upon leaving the polls, they are already in the process of scripting Thanksgiving dinner clapbacks. In anticipation of the worst possible controversies, they’ve pocketed clever comebacks for every aunt at the table. 

Capricorn: Capricorns fulfill their civic duty by visiting their local polls, then their fiscal duty by visiting their local poles. Depending on their rising sign, Capricorns are likely to join Sagittarius in pre-gaming both visits. 

Aquarius: Similar to Cancers, Aquarius will also have election anxiety, but a more internalized version. While acts such as showing up to the polls are compatible with their driven and determined qualities, their anxiety is so severe that at this point, they have forgotten everything including their ID, direction to their local poll station, knowledge — or remembrance — of election year, etc. 

Pisces: As passionate as Pisces typically are, they struggle with decisiveness. While they have all the proposition info and candidates in mind, showing up to the polls is the ultimate test to see exactly who they are voting for. Up to this point, they don’t even know so don’t bother asking them. 

Conclusion: 

The best horoscope prediction across all zodiac signs regardless of rising signs, is the prediction of a positive voter turnout. Just because our country is in serious retrograde doesn’t mean your sign has to be. Take initiative and VOTE! 

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