Think Outside the Bed
by Lynnea Dally


You’ll never look at sex, your partner, or that special park, car or abandoned building nook the same way after getting busy in public. The adrenaline rush from fear of getting caught and your desire to engage in sex where and when you really shouldn’t deepens your bond. While there is no true “proper” way to do something “off-limits”, there are a few suggested guidelines you might want to think about the next time you jones for some public nooky.

First off, don’t limit your frisky adventures to just having sex. Don’t underestimate the amazing power of small secretive actions in public settings. Think about it: who plays footsie in private? Anything from hand holding to a quick suggestive whisper to heavy cuddling to innocently arm-touching suddenly becomes entirely erotic in public. You’ll flame an instant desire and you’ll be faced with two options: book it back to the nearest bed or endure the slow burn, both have their pluses. Just make sure your romantic actions are covered so that they don’t annoy or gross out innocent bystanders and friends.

If you’re planning on doing anything a bit more involved, you definitely need to have a plan. Talk things over with your perspective partner and make sure you’ve got all your necessary supplies. Most obviously, pick a place that will be abandoned or secret; you don’t want to actually get caught. You might want to have a plan B location in case someone is using the first location. Avoid interfering with the legitimate use of an area, such as parking in a commercial unloading zone or hooking up in a handicapped stall.

Once you’ve picked a spot or two, pack up the appropriate gear. Bring a phone, an ID card, condoms, lube, your favorite toys and a Ziplock bag to carry away your trash in afterwards. It’s poor form to leave behind trash. Depending on where you’re going, you might want to bring a flashlight, blanket and towel. If you think your clothes might get dirty or wet, you might want to bring a change of clothes. Few things kill the post-amazing sex buzz more than having to trudge back home in muddy, wet or sandy clothes. Speaking of clothes, you might want to choose an outfit that you can easily get on and off. This is especially practical if you get caught and need to get dressed quickly.

If you do get caught, be respectful and leave as quickly as you can. If you are stopped by the police, there are a few things to remember to help keep you out of trouble. In California, public indecency is considered a misdemeanor, which means that having sex in public could mean facing a neat fine or even some jail time (depending on what you were doing). First of all, remember to embark on your adventure sober and for good measure leave any alcohol or drugs behind. The police will probably check if you are publicly intoxicated (an easy mark) and you do not want to tally up additional fines or give any extra reason for an arrest. Read up on your rights. Cooperate, but do not answer incriminating questions. Keep asking the officers if you are free to go or being detained.

If you are going somewhere especially secluded, such as a hiking trail, you might want to prepare in case something bad happens. Bring your cellphones and leave a note or tell someone where you are going. This way, in case one of you sprains your ankle or the two of you get lost, rescue teams will have an idea of where to start searching when you are reported missing.

Finally, realize that there is a difference between having sex in public and exposing yourself in public. Having sex in public is about private enjoyment in a public area, while exposing is about intentionally shocking and disturbing innocents.