Ten Sexual Innovations For Your Enlightenment
by Lynnea Dally


Science has been working hard to improve lots of aspects to your sex life from pleasure to safety to everything in between. In no particular order, here they are in case you haven’t heard about them yet:

1) The HPV vaccine. Well, you probably already know about this one, but it’s worth mentioning. Sold under the brand name Gardasil, this 3-shot series currently offers protection from certain strands of HPV and cervical cancer in women. It’s highly recommended for young women, teenagers and pre-teen girls (read: you or your younger sisters). While it’s currently only approved for women, the shot potentially could protect men from spreading HPV or getting anal cancer themselves.

2) A better HPV test. The traditional pap test can be uncomfortable, as well as uncomfortably unreliable. Pap smears are only about 50% accurate in detecting HPV for women who do have cervical cancer. The newly developed blood test is around 95% accurate. One of the few downsides to the blood test is a higher chance of false positives.

3) The iBuzz. This unendorsed iPod attachment allows you to listen to music and run a small vibrator at the same time. The newest iBuzz Two comes with two vibrators and two fun vibrator-attachments: a cock ring and rabbit-shaped sleeve. Download some graphic podcasts and you are good to go. Of course, your iPod’s battery life might suffer a little. Alternatively, there are many phone program hacks that allow you to make it vibrate as long as you want.

4) Lybrel. It’s the exact same birth control pill, but you get to take it every day of the year. You won’t get your period as long as you’re on Lyberel. A very handy tweak. The only reason birth control pills weren’t originally made this way was because women might have been disturbed by the loss of their “natural” rhythm.

5)The menstrual cup. For the environmentalist, you no longer have to waste tampons or pads. This devise is placed over the cervix, effectively catching your menstrual flow. The cup should be emptied and cleaned every few hours (as well as sanitized between periods) to avoid Toxic Shock Syndrome and other infections. Of course, you could always just use #4 and skip your periods all together.

6) Teledildonics (aka Cyberdildonics). Still in infancy, teledildonics involve controlling the sexual stimulation of someone else over the internet. This technology has already produced a penis pump-looking cylinder. The cylinder stimulates the user based on the action of someone else or be synched up to pre-recorded videos. In addition to cyber sex and masturbation aids, this technology could also be helpful to those with disabilities or dangerous STD’s. Companies are also working on a robotic sex doll, a kissing phone and a hugging shirt.

7) The HIV emergency treatment. The CDC (Center for Disease Control) now suggests this treatment be available in situations such as rape, broken condoms, medical pricks and IV drug users. This drug might not protect against resistant strains, and the treatment’s effects are incredibly intense, so the treatment should only be saved for emergencies. Users suffer from symptoms ranging from vomiting, to diarrhea, to depression to pain in the outer extremities.

8) Pronto condoms. Developed by a South African, these condoms are designed with a special package to fight HIV/AIDS by offering guys a quicker way to rubber up. Just hold the package, snap up, snap down, pull both sides apart and roll it down. It’s so fast, you’d probably spend more time reading this sentence than putting one on. Look for their ads on Youtube to see how it works.

9) Spray-on condoms. This applicator was designed for those guys whose shape just doesn’t fit most condoms, either too big or too small. Men stick their penises into a small application machine and get sprayed with rubber that quickly dries into a custom condom shape. Pretty cool. The downsides? It hisses, takes about 20 seconds, and doesn’t leave space at the tip (for the ejaculate). I’ve also heard the latex sprays on really thick, decreasing potential sensation.

10) Implanon. Implanon is a form of female birth control. A small match-stick sized rod is implanted in the arm and you’re good for up to 3 years. It’s progestin-only, so it can have fewer side-effects than the estrogen/progestin pill. Not to mention you don’t have to worry about taking it every day like the pill or even going to the doctor every 3 months like the Depo-Provera shot. Take the progestin-only pill as a test before committing to a full 3 years.

Who know what other kinds of cool and kinky advancements we’ll get in the next 10 years?